We have a West Nile scare in the Merrimack Valley now. And no, it didn’t come here from the ICC. But remember these words: lymphatic filariasis, mansonellosis, malaria, chikungunya and dengue. I’m half kidding there.

I have to think this is music to our biggest local industry: Health and Human Services. With COVID fun and funds going dry and variants about as popular Erik Gitschier at a City of Lowell employee mixer, a new health scare has to be music to their ears!

I can’t confirm it, but local agencies are gearing up outreach to mosquito hordes to pass out tiny little condoms and paper straws for the mosquitos, so they can more hygienically suck the blood out of Lowell residents.

Given that that the finding is in Pawtucketville, the Health Department is considering declaring every day until the first frost voting day, to keep citizens P-ville residents inside.

The ADU situation is being revisited to ensure proper screens are part of the zoning bypass system

The LLAMA group (the commie LLAMA’s not the Cali Llama) will be working on developing a strategy to fight the demonization of our winged Anthropoda neighbors. The “It’s not their Fault” campaign hopes to bring understanding that West Nile is an affliction not a choice, and we should adapt our lifestyles rather than fight the mosquitos.

They also want to point out that the term “invasive” is racist and “speciest” against the Aedes Albopictus Mosquito, and should be discontinued. They are immigrants. Not invasive.

The United Teachers of Lowell have asked for hazard pay for recess, but just for teachers. The Para’s are on their own.

A coalition of agencies is getting together to develop a needle exchange program for mosquitos. Concerns have been raised that there is no system in place for discarded mosquito needles, but  organizers say they don’t give a shit.

For more information, maybe ask Facui how bad this is. Masks are recommended in the meantime. They swear, this time they are effective. Social distancing is said to also confuse mosquitos and will be a welcome sight to half of the Democratic Party.