by “Blanche Belvidere”

Well, slap my ass and call me baby!

Heard a rumor that some folks didn’t want Blanche to go away for long, so here I am with another cheap wine and nicotine-fueled rant.

I mentioned in a previous article that I was giving you just the tip, and the Full Monty would make your head explode. I feel you deserve a break after all the pieces that came out this past week on InsideLowell regarding the Homelessness State of Emergency. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Rest your heads, there is more to come, but I don’t want to flog a dead horse.  Let’s have some lighthearted fun instead!

I look forward to Tuesday nights because our beloved City Council holds their often dissonant, occasionally dull meeting.  It’s like watching a major sporting event, and I get all tingly just thinking about it!

I have snacks and settle in for what is often 2-3 hours of residents getting up to speak on a subject, all saying the same thing repeatedly.  I mean, after the first 3 stated what the one prior said, I think I’d step out of the line. But I get it, people want their voices heard.

And there is never a shortage of amendments to confuse the shit out of everyone entirely, and now we have no idea what the hell is going on.  I question if the council has any idea what’s happening sometimes. And how many sub-committees do we have? I can’t keep up. What the hell is everyone doing if we keep talking about the same topics every single meeting?

Councilor Gitschier – I love this guy. He is the most anal, “fixed-upon details” council member. And I thank the Gods for him!  He never holds back and is unafraid to call bullshit. The guy can talk until the cows come home, but I still hang on to every word. This is complimentary, and I say it with love.  I also think he looks like he needs to be swaddled in a fuzzy blankie after a long day of steam coming out of his ears.

Councilor Robinson – because I notice everything and have an eye for detail, this man wears beautiful shirts. Never are they wrinkled. I appreciate and find value in that. In addition, he, too, is not afraid to speak up and can hold his own because it appears he doesn’t give a fuck.  Guy has got some heart, and he uses it to his advantage.  I tip my hat to your wardrobe prowess and brass balls, Sir. And I trust you don’t smell like Drakkar.

Our City Manager is a true Politician’s Politician. With his sardonic smile, he usually has an answer for everything. Typically it’s, “I don’t have that information in front of me right now, but I will find out and get it to you.”  I mean, the guy has a salad named after him.  A SALAD!  You know you’ve hit the big time when a Greek names a salad after an Irishman. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts, as the old saying goes.

What I would love to see is Councilor Scott bear her teeth. I know she’s got moxie in her.  Show them boys what you’ve got! Get loud, dammit! Fear not, m’lady. Behind every great woman, there’s a shit ton of other dope-ass women.

I’ll get into the others another time. I mean, RITA…I can’t leave Rita out of this.  I could write 3 more articles on her alone! There are a couple I refer to as “Mumbles 1” and “Mumbles 2” because I often have no idea what they’re saying and question what’s in their coffee mug.

Until next time, my curious kumquats, I bid you adieu!