Can I Be Frank? Lowell vs Las Vegas…Who Ya Got?

With our beloved New England Patriots taking on the newly formed Las Vegas Raiders this Sunday, many of us New Englanders are making the trek west, and I am one of them.  As I make my way toward the bright lights of the strip of Nevada’s most infamous city, I pondered how much Las Vegas, and my hometown of Lowell are in such parallel.

Sin City Versus Mill City!

I mean, if you really think about it, they are the same place essentially.

Here are a few examples of why you can simply stay home and enjoy all the pleasures of our city as opposed to a long cross-country flight and a complete loss of your savings.  Why not leverage our back yard?

  • Gambling
    • Sure, you can travel to LV and spend your hard-earned nickels and dimes in lavish, gawdy, overblown casinos. I won’t ever judge that.  OR you could sneak away just footsteps from your home and enter one of the many illegal slot parlors that grace “The Acre” which is basically like going to “The Sands
  • Entertainment
    • Of course, you can pay hundreds (possibly thousands) of dollars to attend shows of the likes of acts like Adele. She is a bit whiny for my taste but hey, ‘tomato/self-loathing British dame’ (Yup, dame. That’s what Sinatra would have called her).  OR I know of a great performance of a Pan Handler right outside of, what has been called as the East Coast’s equivalent of Caesar’s PalaceThe Keep.  For my money, your performance coins are far better spent on Zippy the Vagrant whistling instead of that heavily buttered English Muffin belting out her sad life story.
  • Prostitution
    • Correct, this is a legal and morally accepted practice in Nevada to find a lady of the night to fulfill your needs. That is just a fact.  But I would contend that finding that special female or fella for hire could possibly be more accessible right here in L-Town.

Less glamour?  Yup.

Fewer teeth?  Won’t argue.

More chance of a rabid, never seen by the medical community STD?  You got me there.

However, the stories for your grandchildren  and their grandchildren about Annie from Appleton will far outweigh that Leaving Las Vegas Lola that just happen to be a perfect 10.  No contest.

  • Sports
    • Teams
      • They have the LV Raiders! We have the LHS Raiders.  Ours could beat theirs right now and twice on Sunday at Cawley Stadium.
    • Leadership
      • Lowell has Lezenski. Las Vegas has this guy.  I like our chances
  • Pawn Shops
  • Infrastructure
    • Sin City took 30 years to build their ‘Oasis in the Sand’ for generations to enjoy. Roughly 5 years less than the new Lowell High School will take to complete.  Vegas had Ocean’s 11 steal millions from their hard earned tax income.  The Belvidere 5 was able to hijack the same from the city of Lowell with this downtown massacre – and there were no Clooneys and Pitts in this cast, I assure.

So, again, if you really think about it, Lowell is basically Vegas’ equal in many, many ways.  Kindred spirits one might say.  But as I touch down here in the sandy sins of the strip that Moe Green built, I know in my heart that this place ain’t got nothing on the true City of Lights.

Hit it Sheryl!

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