The Tick Dick

Photo courtesy UMass Lowell

There are so many things I want to write about but haven’t had time: The huge bloated school department budget; the subtle push back against district representation from the old guard and Dead Tsongas’s; the many levels of homelessness and homeless-ish; the dearth of late night weekday DTL establishments.  And many others.

But what has inspired me is what seems to be the most important thing in Lowell is parking. Specifically, parking tickets.  And more specific, one man.  The Tick Dick.  The man the city loves to hate.  That DTL parking Dude.  The Meter Maid that we all loathe.

I got a ticket 10 minutes before the snow band ended.  My friend got a ticket while in her car.  Other residents have had long well documented interactions challenge us to suspend our disbelief.

He frustrates us.  He torments us.  But you know what? This guy might be the last gasp for Lowell and in a moral macro sense our society in general.

The Tick Dick has been given a job.  The job has clear parameters and guidelines.  He is to enforce parking rules in the city.  He does it with unyielding gusto. He does it with a passion for the job not seen very often.  Yes, he allows for no gray area.  But maybe that’s what we need in our society?

Some of us advocate for people to live in a pile of feces by the river while killing themselves slowly.  We ban plastic straws and bags but encourage the distribution of single use syringes.  We clamor for a revival of downtown while renting store fronts to churches and not for profit agencies.  We advocate for inclusion then go golf at vesper.

Compromise is good, but do we exist too much in the gray areas and deal not enough in absolutes?  Have we given up personal responsibility for “ya but”-sim? As in “Ya, but they need those needles”.

I say we have.

I knew there was a snow ban.  I figured I’d roll the dice.  You live park in a space, you still are parking.  You run in for just a minute and don’t feed the meter? You earned that ticket.  Suck it up! Pay the fine, get the app, and say “Thank You, Tick Dick for actually holding us personally responsible for our choices.”

He is not to be scorned.  We should revere him for his purity.

Now I gotta move my car from the Greeks lot before they open…..

One response to “The Tick Dick”

  1. George says:

    My Mom was one of the first meter maids hired by the City of Lowell. She left Honeywell to take that position and admitted it’s one of her worst decisions she ever made. Let’s just say she went to work everyday with plenty of change in her pocket. Oh, she didn’t last a year in that position 🙂

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