by Plebicola

Roll out the barrel and strike up the band
Good luck to the country in the new Promised Land
Our troubles are all over and the future will be sunny
For we can solve all our problems with other people’s money
We won’t need borders, police or Yankee Doodlum
All will be for the best in the commie New Jerusalem

We won’t need oil refineries, and we’ll all be non-binary
AOC at the Met Gala will still be dressed in finery
The prisons will be empty with no one doing time
When the state will hand you money, why commit a crime?

The Big Apple has Mamdani ‘twas a Cinderella story
He’d return Manhattan to its days of former glory
But his charm is quickly fading for the shoe just doesn’t fit
When Lowell gets such a mayor, it will be time to split

So farewell to the Constitution and the SJC as well
Vote for the DSA and enjoy the ride to hell.
No longer to Jefferson and Lincoln will we bow
We’ve got us a new hero and his name is Chairman Mao.

The candidates they’re offering are bold and well-educated
Dreamers of big dreams and by common sense unfreighted
Progressives in Wisconsin love Francesca Hong
She makes perfect sense to me whenever I smoke my bong.

Thanksgiving is an evil day, she says, it’s not so grand
It’s better to be miserable when you live on stolen land
In Michigan there’s El Sayed and his buddy Piker
Compared to them Hong’s not so bad, in fact I think I like her.

It’s not that things are perfect, there are problems to be solved
But if China is your model, your thinking should evolve
Or just roll out the barrel and strike up the band
Good luck to the country in the new Promised Land