by “The Ghost of Columns Past”
In days of old, the “Column” was bold, and the gifts they gave remembered.
So in the spirit of Christmas Past, let’s take a chance at not offending anyone by leaving these gifts under their tree:
To City Manager Tom Golden: A new 3-year contract extension before next year’s election, more activity in the Hamilton Canal and LINC project, Lowell being named a Frontrunner City to go along with his SAL’s Pizza gift certificates, and continued private tutoring from Erik Gitschier on how to be a successful City Manager.
Assistant City Manager Yovani Baez-Rose: More trips to bring businesses to Lowell, a pay raise to keep you in Lowell, and a seat up front next to the Manager instead of being stuck at the “kiddie table.”
Assistant City Manager Shawn Machado: His own tent with propane tank at the South Common, use of Councilor Gitschier’s camera to take pictures of city workers, and a brand-new Braun shaver
Mayor Dan Rourke: More of the magical elixir that has turned you from stuttering John to Tony Robbins, patience to put up with the election year grandstanding by a few of your fellow councilors, and sedatives for chairing the School Committee meetings.
City Councilor Sokhary Chau: A state job from Governor Healey that allows him to bring his #1 supporter with him. (Not with the State Lottery!)
City Councilor Corey Belanger: A successful city-wide run, since Belvidere won’t re-elect him.
City Councilor John Descoteaux: Relaxing in 2025 while making plans for his 2026 18th Middlesex District State Rep. run, and a few gigs with Paul Belley to fill up some of his time.
City Councilor Erik Gitschier: An overhead spotlight at his Council desk so everyone knows for sure he’s the brightest guy in the room.
City Councilor Wayne Jenness: Fewer Open Meeting Law Complaints filed by his wife, and a gift certificate for couples therapy.
City Councilor Rita Mercier: A graceful good-bye to the City Council, celebrating the dedication of the Rita Mercier Senior Center in 2025, and a lifetime appointment as the Chairperson Emeritus of both the Senior Citizen and Parks and Recreation subcommittees.
City Councilor Vesna Nuon: Re-election without running a slate of candidates (or being blamed for them) against his fellow Councilors, and realization that, like Rodney Elliott before him, he must wait a few more terms before getting to be Mayor.
City Councilor Corey Robinson: Some would say he’s received his gift, but he gets unlimited breakfast gift cards at the Cameo Diner for meetings with Melanie Gilbert, Paulette Renault-Caragianes and Bob Gignac to discuss his re-election plans.
City Councilor Kim Scott: No Vesna or Vanna backed challengers, lunch with James Ostis for political advice, and a motion asking the Mayor to eliminate the Community Outreach Strategist position in the School Department.
City Councilor Paul Ratha Yem: Dave Ouellette announcing he’s running again to ensure Paul’s re-election, and a UN resolution naming him exclusive developer once Lowell is named a Front Runner City.
School Committee member Jackie Doherty: A case of Coppertone Sunscreen, a copy of the Lay decision (just in case), a copy of Rye’s residency requirement, and Christine O’Connor as her personal attorney.
School Committee member Connie Martin – A classy send off and thanks for her years of Service, and a 1-year clothing allowance instead of a rocking chair.
School Committee member Dave Conway – A final, I mean it this time, farewell, and the winning bid in the Superintendent For a Day position from the Salvation Army Radiothon to be used at his last meeting in December 2025.
School Committee member Eileen Del Rossi: Nutter not pulling a Gitschier to serve without collecting a stipend, and tutoring by Connie Martin on how to conduct yourself and be an effective School Committee member.
School Committee member Fred Bahou – A re-election mailer featuring Superintendent Skinner taken in the City Council Chamber.
School Committee member Dominic Lay: Tara Hong not running a candidate against him, and a lifetime of unlimited gas cards from John Leahy and Chris O’Connor to settle outstanding issues.
State Rep. Rodney Elliott: An appointment for Yun-Ju Choi to a State or City job matching or exceeding the salary of Zoe Dzineku, so he doesn’t have a challenger in 2026.
State Rep. Vanna Howard: Adding a little spice to her work and finally delivering more than posing in photo ops for the City of Lowell.
State Rep. Rady Mom: a booming private practice, a Long Meadow membership, and a new job co-hosting the Morning Show with Sokhary Chau on WCAP.
Incoming State Rep. Tara Hong: John Descoteaux staying on the Lowell City Council, Dave Ouellette losing his number, and hiring Jen Myers as his Chief of Staff, so James Ostis isn’t so lonely at the State House.
State Senator Ed Kennedy: A YMCA membership, and personal fitness training from Marty Lorrey.
Newly declared School Committee Candidate Danielle McFadden: a Negative Energy Shield Necklace to protect her from the Panos Curse!
Lowell CFO Connor Baldwin: His dream Belvidere home, free Accounting night classes at Greater Lowell Tech (from his favorite Councilor), and pushing Shawn Machado to the “kiddie table” so he can stay up front and close to the Manager.
